I am
by jesi lily
Summary: The person she will be... the lives she'll make better, the one's she'll ruin. The mistakes she'll make... She's Hermione Granger, and this is her story.
1. Chapter 1

**I am …**

**Hermione**

* * *

><p>They had been married for eight years, and for the last five they had been trying desperately for a baby. They had expected it to happen quickly, as most people do, not more thought beyond that was given to it. However it had not happened, for all the attempts and the test, they had not conceived a child.<p>

"Susan, love, we can try again," Philip Granger said softly as they stared down at the pregnancy test, a single red line, how much they had begun to resent that single red line. The constant sign of their inability to create a life, their child.

"Yeah, we can try again," Susan murmured, stared tearfully down at the plastic stick in her hand. "Always try again."

"Hey, don't be like that," Philip told her softly, he kissed his wife's temple and got up off the bed, he looked around their room and sighed, their bedroom seemed to hold the happiest and saddest of memories.

"We've got work," Susan said finally, throwing the test in the bin, as she got up and walked to the wardrobe, unwilling to further torture herself with the failed test.

"Yeah." Philip said, he looked at his wife and smiled slightly. "I love you, regardless of anything, Susan."

* * *

><p>Six months later Susan was on her way to work, Philip was beside her driving their family salon car, as they approached the car park outside their private dental practice she turned to her husband.<p>

"Did you cook those eggs properly?" She asked him, adjusting in her seat; she'd been fidgeting the entire journey, but seemed more uncomfortable now than before.

"'Course I did love," Philip said as he parked the car beside the practice, turning to look at his wife with concern etched into his features. "You gonna be alright?"

"Yeah," Susan muttered, her brow furrowed as she got out of the car, and perhaps it was the head rush, but suddenly she doubled over and threw up the contents of her breakfast. Splattering the mess across the pavement, drops staining her shoes.

"Sus!" Philip yelped, and rushed around the car, and held back his wife's hair.

"Philip!" Susan yelled when finally she was done, and had wiped at her mouth with the handkerchief that her husband had handed her. "You fed me bad eggs!"

Philip was staggered at what to say to his apparently furious wife. The eggs weren't bad, that much he was aware of, because he'd eaten them too, and he'd not gotten ill, in fact Susan had been getting ill after breakfast for a couple of days now. Each time she'd blame whatever she had eaten, Philip knew he was a good cook though, and was reluctant to take the blame.

"Susan, love, I didn't feed you bad eggs, I would have been sick as well," Suddenly Susan burst into tears.

"Are you calling me a liar!"

* * *

><p>"Mandy, could you possibly hold my appointments, Susan is ill again," Philip said, as he quickly popped into the practice, talking to the young woman who sat behind the large desk, who sat up when he appeared.<p>

"That's the third time," Mandy pointed out, but of that Philip was fully aware. He was the one who had to take his wife back home after, she couldn't work while she was ill. "Is she pregnant or something?"

Philip froze.

* * *

><p>"MUM!" Susan screamed as she rushed to her mother, they were telling the family today, and Susan could barely control herself. "Oh it's so great to see you!"<p>

"Oh, Susan, it's lovely to see you too," Susan mother said, looking slightly bemused, true she was delighted to see Susan, but she was usually a little more reserved. "Darling, are you alright, you look a little flushed?"

"Mum, I'm twelve weeks pregnant!" Susan blurted out, and her mother let out a loud shriek and engulfed her daughter back into her arms, her eyes welling with tears. Philip rolled his eyes; they were planning on telling them over dinner. Clearly Susan had other ideas all together, he chuckled despite himself.

* * *

><p>Susan was not at all happy as she looked at herself in the mirror; she was thirty weeks pregnant and ridiculously fat. Philip and her friends and family had assured her on numerous occasions she was not fat, she was pregnant, and there was a very big difference, mainly that she was carrying another person within her, but that was totally beside the point.<p>

"I don't want to go," Susan said, she looked like a hippo from every angle, even wearing black could not make her look any slimmer.

"Love, you look stunning, and everyone knows your pregnant, remember the massive phone bill about six months ago? That's because you told _everyone_they aren't going to think you suddenly put on loads of weight," Philip assured her, gently ushering her out to the car. "And you've been looking forward to this for a long time, you can't possibly deny yourself this, just because you think you look fat."

"True." Susan mused as she looked down at her stomach, sure she was huge, but wasn't it worth it after everything?

"Now let's get to the baby shower."

* * *

><p>"Oh Susan, you look fantastic!" Lauren, Susan's best friend of several years said, hugging her.<p>

"Thanks Lauren, I'm so glad you could make it," Susan said, taking her best friends hand in her own.

"Make it?" Lauren said mock insulted. "I wouldn't have missed this for the world, you're having a baby, finally."

* * *

><p>"Philip, can we just have the one?" Susan asked as she lay on the bed, her legs held in the air by some contraptions she had forgotten the name of, it was uncomfortable, but that was due to the pain she was feeling as the contractions hit.<p>

"If you only want one," Philip said, smiling down at his wife, and kissed her sweaty forehead. "I love you so much." Philip said, and Susan would have replied if it weren't for the contraction.

"PUSH SUSAN! PUSH!"

Susan screamed as she pushed, her whole face glowing red, and in Philip's mind she had never looked so gorgeous, well maybe their wedding day…

A Piercing cry broke through his mind, and he blinked his eyes and the nurse smiled up at him. He looked at the sight before him, it was in many ways the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

"Do you want to cut the cord?"

* * *

><p>"Susan she's beautiful," Philip said, as he sat beside his wife, she was holding a small pink bundle, and looking… words could not describe the beauty before him.<p>

"She's everything," Susan murmured, kissing the top of her daughter's head. "My little Hermione."

"Hermione?" Philip asked, his eyes shining, as the name slipped from his tongue. It was unusual, different, Hermione was an intelligent sounding name, a proud daughter, beautiful and strong. Hermione.

"Don't you think it's perfect, it sets her apart from the rest of the world?" Susan said as she looked back down at her beautiful baby girl, sleeping soundly in her arms.

"Perfect." Philip said smiling down at his wife and daughter. "Hermione."


	2. Chapter 2

**I am …**

**Magical**

* * *

><p>It was summer 1991, and eleven year old Hermione Jane Granger was sitting in the back garden of her home in Surrey, the sun was shining brightly behind her, as she sat on the grass with a book in her lap, school was finished, and soon she would be going on to the local secondary school, but before she did that she wanted to make sure she was ready. She did so by reading some of the books they would be studying in English and History, a French dictionary lay beside her, discarded onto the grass.<p>

It was quite in the neighbourhood, and that was how Hermione liked it, peaceful. She was humming to herself as she let her eyes moves across the lines, drinking in the words before her.

There was a hoot in the background that she was only faintly aware of, that is until a small barn owl landed right before her. Hermione let out a small scream as the bird sat there, looking at her, almost expectantly. In its beak held a small brown letter, she did not even look at the address on it.

"M-M-MUM!" Hermione shouted, looking fearfully at the bird, she knew something was strange, because owls did not come out during the day She knew they were night creatures. "MUM!"

Suddenly the owl jumped, dropping the letter in Hermione's lap, and soared off out of sight. With shaking hands Hermione turned the letter over.  
><em><br>Hermione Granger,  
>Back Garden,<br>Oak wood House,  
>Oak Road,<br>Surrey_

Hermione was bewildered by the letter in her hands, this was beyond the… This just didn't make sense.

"Hermione!" Her mother called fearfully, dashing out to the back garden. "Hermione what's wrong?" Her mother asked worriedly, as she saw her daughters pale face.

"Mum, an owl just gave me this."

_HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY_

Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore  
>(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc. Chf. Warlock,Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)<p>

Dear Miss Granger  
>We are pleased to inform you that you have a place at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.<p>

Term begins on 1 September.

Yours sincerely,

Minerva McGonagall  
>Deputy Headmistress<p>

"Susan, this is ridiculous, some silly prank some kid has played on her," Philip said to his wife, as he held the letter in his hand. Hermione was not popular, often teased by other children, he knew they thought her odd, and perhaps she was, but this was unnecessary. "You know that she's been picked on before."

"Tell that to Hermione, she swears it was an owl wh-"

A knock at the door broke Susan from her sentence.

"Mum!" Hermione called form the front door. "There's a strange man who wants to talk to you!"

* * *

><p>"Mrs Granger, how lovely to meet you," At the front door stood a man, he was wearing a bright purple suit, paired with long white hair and a matching beard, the icing on the cake had to be the half-moon spectacles, covering electric blue eyes. He was not imposing in anyway, but he looked odd.<p>

"Get away from my daughter!" Susan barked, grabbing Hermione by the shoulders and pulling her away from the man. "I'll get my husband to call the police!"

"Oh dear, there won't be any need for that," The man said, and something about him made Susan want to trust him, but when it came to her little girl, she did not trust anyone. "I'm here about the letter, I'm Albus Dumbledore."

* * *

><p>"Oh," Susan said as she sat in the living room, holding a cup of tea in her hands, she had been for the last hour, and not taken a single sip. "Oh." She didn't really know what to say.<p>

"So what you're saying is Hermione, our baby, is special." Philip said – well that was one way of putting it, she had always been slightly different to other children her age, besides the reading. It was also impossible to deny that sometimes odd things happened when she was around, but this seemed so farfetched.

"Yes, she is special… She's a witch, and it's not what I imagine you think it to be, Hermione," he turned to the excited looking eleven year old, "has anything every happened, that you just can't explain?"

Hermione looked at her parents, with the biggest grin on her face.

"Like when I fell off my bike and one moment I had cut my knee, and the next all that was there was a faint pink mark?" Hermione asked, her eyes shining brightly.

Albus smiled at her.

"Yes, like that."

* * *

><p>Hermione was struck by awe as she walked onto the busy street, she was not in a normal street, she was in Diagon Alley, the Wizarding Street. Albus Dumbledore had brought her and her parents here to do some shopping, and it was nothing short of amazing.<p>

All around her were store she'd never seen or heard of before, selling things she had never seen before. There were cauldrons and brooms, high stacks of books, animals she could not name. She was overwhelmed by it all, all the colours and the noises, it was outstanding.

"Wow."

"I'm glad you like it, Miss Granger," Albus said smiling at Hermione. "Now, do you think we should get your wand first?"

He led the small group to one of the darker looking stores, stepping inside Hermione could see shelf upon shelf full to breaking point with small boxes, covered in dust.

"Albus, how very nice to see you," An elderly man – older then Albus Dumbledore at least – appeared before Hermione and her parents. "And this is….?"

"Hermione Granger, a new student," Albus said smiling brightly at the man. "I do hope you are well Ollivander."

"Exceedingly, thank you Albus, now, let me see…" The man, Ollivander disappeared among looming rows full of little boxes, Hermione and her parents watched anxiously as he peered through the shelves, until finally. "Ah, here it is."

"Vine wood, heartstring of a dragon, twelve inches, good for almost any spell, charm or curse." He handed the wand to Hermione, and instantly she felt her fingers tingle, and she beamed at the elderly wizard. "I suggest you watch out for this one, Albus, she's going to be one powerful witch."

* * *

><p>"Now, remember The Hogwarts Express will take you to Hogwarts on September first, it is on Platform nine-and-three-quarters, I'm sure that you will find your way," Albus told Hermione who was nodding her head as she took in his words.<p>

"But, we'll miss her twelfth birthday!" Susan squeaked as she looked at her daughter.

"Don't worry, mum," Hermione said excitedly, barely unable to contain herself. "I'll owl you like Professor Dumbledore said."

"Oh, ok…"

"I will see you see, Farewell Mrs Granger, Mr Granger," With that, he turned on the spot and disappeared instantly with a loud pop.

Philip turned to his wife, he had barely spoken all day, he was pale and nervous.

"Do you think we have to send her?" He asked quietly, not quietly enough.

"Of course I have to go!" Hermione insisted, determination drenching her words.

* * *

><p>"I don't think you can go through with me," Hermione said as she looked at the stone wall, she was terrified, she'd never admit it though. She was staring at a brick hole, which she was pretty sure she could walk through, if not she would surely break her nose. "It said in Hogwarts a History that only witches and wizards can go through, and I don't think you are."<p>

"No, we're not sweetheart," Susan said nervously, was her daughter going to injure herself? How could she not, running into a brick wall, was never a smart idea.

"Well, I guess…" Philip said, he knelt down to his daughter, and engulfed her into a hug, kissing the top of her head. "My special little girl, don't you dare let anyone put you down, and please write to us as soon as you get there."

"And remember you're coming home for Christmas," Susan said, hugging her daughter next, and kissing both her cheeks. "We love you so much, remember that angel."

Hermione smiled at her parents, and then ran towards the wall, they both braced themselves for her to fall on the floor, crying as she split her head open, but instead she disappeared, and was gone.


	3. Chapter 3

**I am …**

**A Friend**

* * *

><p>Hermione look into the mirror, she was sixteen years old, her bushy brown hair was tied back into a bun, her skin was lightly tanned, and her nose covered with freckles, she looked like a normal teenage girl, but she wasn't.<p>

No teenager in her school could really be classed as normal, because they were all magical, but Hermione, and her closest friends for that matter, were even less normal. Because she was best friends withy Harry potter and Ron Weasley.

Six years ago when she had first ran through that wall, she had been totally alone, but she was not the only one, quickly she had managed to find herself in the company of Neville Longbottom, a chubby, but nice boy who was going to be in her year, the poor boy was quite clumsy, and as such had managed to somehow lose his toad.

It was in the search for Neville toad, Trevor, which Hermione had come across two boys, one a redheaded freckly boy, who had dirt on his nose, and at the time was stuffing his face full of sweet. The other was a boy she recognised from numerous photo's, small, too thin, with a mop of inky black hair, and round glasses, the most distinguishing feature being a lightning bolt shaped scar on his forehead.

Ron Weasley and Harry Potter.

Although Hermione was quite interested in the black haired boy, the other, Ronald, was unimpressive.

Perhaps, so keen to be liked by the right people, she had been a harsh judge, and unfortunately by Halloween she had absolutely no friends, this wasn't particularly nice, as she had always had no friends, and she really had wanted some, she was, after all, meant to fit into this world. Well after a nasty comment from dear Ronald, Hermione felt the need to sob, a lot. Hidden away in the girls bathroom on the first floor, which was, it turned out, to be a pretty unfortunate, and the best decision she had ever made.

Because she was hidden away from the rest of the school, she wasn't aware of what was going on, and so when she left the cubicle she had been crying in, it was quite horrifying to find herself, a small first year Gryffindor, facing a Mountain troll.

She screamed.

It was what felt like hours before anyone came to her help, it was not a teacher, as she had prayed, but oddly enough, Ron and Harry.

She would have said thank you, but the massive club that way beating away at the toilets, held her back.

That night, Harry and Ron saved her life, they took out a fully grown mountain troll, and saved her, even though they didn't like her, and she couldn't have been anymore grateful, because if they had not come, she surely would have died.

It was that night that sealed their fate. They were inseparable.

As such, when Harry and Ron developed suspicions about Snape it was Hermione who they turned to for advice, because even then she was much more logical then anyone they knew, and even though they did not fully agree with her logic 'he's a teacher' (which was good enough for her) she followed them when Harry and Ron decided to talk to Hagrid, and as such got detention with them when they were caught. Something which she was not very happy about.

And when Harry decided he really needed to go and follow whoever was after the philosophers stone, of course Hermione was there, it was her who got them through the Devils snare, she seemed to be the only one of them that listened in herbology.

Then there was the disastrous chess game, in which Ron sacrificed himself, for them to continue, and how possibly could Hermione leave him alone? He was injured… She sent Harry on. She stayed and helped Ron, perhaps it was then that she first realised that the redheaded boy was more than she ever expected. He was brave and noble, he was a good friend to have.

Although she still to this day does not know exactly what went on that day in the dungeon, she knows that professor Quirrell, was somehow letting Lord Voldemort inhabit him, and that it was Harry who defeated them.

Then in her second year, she was petrified by a Basilisk, which Ginny had released into the school, by accident of course, but this was only after she turned herself into a cat, and as such, this is the year she'd much rather forget.

In her third year Sirius Black escaped Azkaban Prison, and wanted to kill Harry, as far as they were aware. And Harry wanted to kill Sirius Black because he killed Harry's parents, and they found out their new Defence Against the Dark Arts professor, Lupin, was a werewolf, which was a shame because he was really nice.

It was also the year that Hermione got to punch Draco Malfoy, which no matter the circumstances was always going to be fun.

Unfortunately, that year Harry also receives a mysterious firebolt broom, so Harry and Ron refused to talk to Hermione for a short while, because she told McGonagall, and she took it away for extensive testing. It was strange, and even though it's a good broom and Harry was the star seeker, Hermione just wanted him to be safe.

Oh and they managed to save Buckbeak – relating to why Hermione punched Draco Malfoy – the idiot had lied to get the hippogriff killed, and yelled, using her time turner, that was meant to be used to attend numerous classes, she went back to save the creature, behind the Ministry's back…

And then it turns out, Sirius Black doesn't want to kill Harry at all, and it wasn't him that Killed the Potters, he was framed, by their other friend Peter Pettigrew, and this was after Harry had blasted Professor Snape to unconsciousness.

And then there was their fourth year, which was in many ways the best and worst year of Hermione's life, so far.

Harry was entered into the Goblet for fire for the triwizard tournament behind his back, and Ron got jealous and wouldn't talk to him, so Hermione had to talk to them separately with was ridiculous, that was probably when she became really good friends with Ginny Weasley, Ron little sister in the year below them.

When the Yule Ball was announced, although she dare not admit to it, she turned down Neville Longbottom because she was waiting for Ron to ask her, it wasn't difficult was it, just to ask her to the dance. But they never did, in fact they, Ron and Harry that is, thought to ask every other single girl in the school before even sparing her a second glance, so in a manic rage she headed to the library, and that's where she met him. Viktor Krum, world famous Seeker, who she'd seen play at the world cup that summer, and win the game, and he was talking to her! When he asked her to the dance, over every other girl in the school, she couldn't possibly say no.

So on the night she dare not leave her room as she and Ginny get ready, as it turned out Ginny said yes to Neville, and then was upset when Harry asked her, but she'd already said yes to Neville, poor girl.

When Hermione descended to the great hall finally, with was with a deep blush as everyone stared at her amazed, here was book worm Hermione Granger, going to the Yule ball with Viktor Krum. Pansy was very jealous. As was Ron.

There were another two task after the ball, one where Hermione and Rona s well as Cho Chang and Gabrielle Delacour, volunteered to be the 'treasure' for the four champions, in which Harry decided to play hero, earning him second place above Viktor, even though he only came out third.

The third and final task was horrific, somehow when Harry finally got through the magical maze, and got to the trophy, he and Cedric grabbed it, and went missing… Harry tells us he battled Voldemort, who had come back, no one really knows, but Hermione believed him without a doubt, but whatever it was that happened, Hermione only saw Harry come back, with Cedric's dead body. Moody had set them up, in fact, he wasn't moody at all. He was Barty Crouch JR.

The memorial held in the school, everyone from all three school in attendance, was the saddest thing Hermione had ever attended, Cedric was too young to have died, and yet he had…

Those were the things that had only happened within the last five years to Hermione. _What a way to welcome yourself to the wizarding world._Hermione thought to herself as she sighed heavily, she was in her fifth year now, and it was no less eventful, and it wasn't even Halloween yet…

Umbridge, their newest Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher was a vile woman, intent on taking over Hogwarts, and because she wouldn't let them use magic, at all, they had decided to do something about it themselves. After all Voldemort was back now, and they needed to know how to protect themselves, no matter how much the Ministry denied his return, they'd have to face it sooner or later, he's back, and danger is out there.

Sighing Hermione walked down the stairs into the common room.

"You ready for this Harry?" Hermione asked as she stopped by him.

"Do I have much choice in the matter?" Harry asked as he sat with Ginny and Ron on the sofa.

"No, not really," Hermione replied with a small smile, and Harry nodded, getting to his feet.

If they'd only known then what would happen later that year…


	4. Chapter 4

**I am…**

**A Fighter**

* * *

><p>Hermione hid away, she was with Harry and Ron, and they were searching for the Horcruxes, they needed to find these things, because even though they had were only seventeen, they weight of their world was on their shoulders, because Harry could not do this alone. Hermione would not let him.<p>

The months tolled past, she turned eighteen without so much as a second thought about the event. She stressed out about things because they had to constantly be on edge, and it was giving her huge headaches, and the damned objects they were collecting were slowly draining their energy, and ruining their friendship.

And to her horror she found herself wondering if they could really do this.

Eventually, after an eventful journey, which included breaking into gringotts Bank, and riding a dragon, and facing Bellatrix and Lucius after being caught, and freeing Luna and Ollivander in a fight which resulted in the death of dobby, Hermione finally found herself back at Hogwarts, carrying a wand not her own, and wondering if this was the end.

* * *

><p>Hermione was out in the grounds and fighting another nameless Deatheater, she was sending her curses towards him, she had a sense of doom flooding through her.<p>

It was probably the connection that she held with Harry, but she knew, just knew, that he was about to do something incredible, stupid or brave, she was not sure.

An explosion, caused her to fly back, and a sharp stabbing pain in her back was disturbing, but she had little chance to really think about it, because looming over her was surely her death, his wand at her neck, and his lips moving, as if in slow motion, and then he was blasted away and she saw Draco Malfoy, wand in hand and looking as stunned as she felt.

And then with a wave of nausea she watched as Hagrid appeared from the shadows of the forbidden forest, carrying the limp body of Harry, he was dead. It was over.

And then, Neville hit the snake with Godrics, sword in one magnificent swipe, and before her very own eyes Harry leapt up, and yielding in elder wand in the battle in the great hall, finally it was over. Voldemort was gone.

* * *

><p>Hermione furiously swiped at her eyes, she wanted to be stronger than this, as she trudged back towards the wrecked building that was once a beautiful and majestic castle, a home to so many people, a dream of something more, and now it was a wasteland.<p>

She had fought, she had harmed, protected and killed, she was a fighter, branded a fighter. She had committed atrocities, which in any other circumstance would have landed her in Azkaban for life. Was she really any better then the Deatheaters that lay cold on the floor, drowning in the floods of blood surrounding them?

The fight had taken from her so much, the damage done to her body was… and what she'd done to her family, completely wiping herself from their memory, to protect them. She had risked losing them forever.

She looked to her right, and there he stood, the man she loved, Ron. What a time to admit your undying love, when you face almost certain death.

Maybe they were actually insane?

Whatever, it was too late to care about any of that, he was limping towards her, hands out reached, and as soon as he reached her she was in his arms, kissing him passionately. At some point she registered a sharp pain in her abdomen, she pulled away and looked down, and then back at Ron. He turned white.

"HELP!"

How had she missed it?

* * *

><p>The war had taken so much from them, Fred, Remus, Tonks, Dumbledore, Colin, Snape, Dobby, Moody… They fought, and they died for what they believed in.<p>

Sacrifices were made, and people got on with life, they tried to rebuild what had been broken, Ron and Hermione were finally together, as was Harry and Ginny, and Hermione couldn't be happier for her friends, because they belonged together.


	5. Chapter 5

**I am…**

**A Wife**

* * *

><p>The night Ron asked her for her hand in marriage was the night they first spent together, intertwined under the duvet; he smiled down at her, and asked her as they showed each other how much they loved each other.<p>

The answer tumbled from her moth without a moment's hesitation.

Yes.

* * *

><p>Hermione smiled as she and Ginny fretted over wedding plans, Ginny too was engaged now, but she had planned a much longer engagement, after all her wedding was going to be a much bigger affair, seeing as it was Harry potter she was due to marry.<p>

Time seemed to pass too slowly for Hermione, but eventually she found herself beaming as she bid farewell to Ron.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Ron promised her, sealing his promise with a kiss before leaving the house, to spend the night at Harry's apartment.

* * *

><p>Hermione awoke with a smile gracing her features, she sat up in her bed as the door opened and Ginny walked in carrying a tray of breakfast.<p>

"Let's get you fed," Ginny said as she placed the tray down on Hermione's lap. "Excited?"

"No…" Hermione said thoughtfully. "It's almost like this is what was meant to happen… There's not excitement because I'm not at all surprised, just blissfully happy."

Ginny smiled at her best friend.

"I'm unbelievably happy for you, Hermione," Ginny told her quietly. "And to think in a few short hours, you are going to be my sister, really a part of the family."

"No matter what Ginny, you're my sister." Hermione said taking Ginny's hand in her own.

* * *

><p>There was silence in the church, Hermione could hear it, or not, however you want to look at it. And then the gentle twinkle of her chosen song, not the usual march, but something softer, Ginny looked back at her with the biggest smile, before she took her step through the doors and down the aisle, her sapphire blue dress trailing behind her, from her position Hermione saw Harry look at Ginny with awe, it was fairly low cut, and had no back, was sexy but not over the top, and then she felt her father squeeze her hand.<p>

Hermione look into his deep brown eyes, matching her own, so glad she finally got him back, in time to walk her down the aisle.

"My angel." He said kissing her temple, and then they were walking, Hermione dare not remove her eyes from Ron's so terrified she was dreaming, and this may not last. But it was lasting, and her father gave her hand to him.

Ron mouth 'I love you' to her as he stood opposite her, And Hermione mouth it back.

And there she stood, her ivory gown clinging to her slim body, her usually messy hair was tied back into a French knot, her dress was backless like Ginny, and fairly low cut too, but unlike Ginny a clasp of diamonds bunched her dress at the shoulders, matching the diamond necklace that draped from her neck, and the tiara she had opted for rather then a veil.

"My love for you, My dearest Hermione, is what holds me together each passing day, without you there is nothing, for you are my day and my night, my stars and my sun, you are the earth, the water, the air. You are my absolute everything."

"Ron, forever only there when I'm with you, and I want to pursue that with you. Nothing will ever get in the way, together we are unstoppable, I love you so much, and with every passing day, I only love you more."

"Do you Ronald Bilius Weasley take Hermione Jane Granger to be your lawful wedded wife?"

"I do."

"Do you Hermione Jane Granger take Ronald Bilius Weasley to be your lawful wedded husband?"

"I do."

"I pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride."


	6. Chapter 6

**I am…**

**Unable**

* * *

><p>Five long years, and yet her wedding day seemed just yesterday.<p>

Hermione sighed at the memory, it was everything she had ever dreamed, it was perfect in every single way, and yet there was something holding them back. For the last year the couple had been trying for a baby, already Ginny and Harry had James, he was only a few months old, and it really annoyed her…

Why could Ginny have a baby so easily, and not her?

She lay silently on the bed, and waited, she believed that she'd know when she was pregnant, and as Ron lay on his back beside her, she wondered idly why she thought it was so simple… She knew the biology behind it, there wasn't a pop, and there you go, nine months later you are holding a baby in your arms, and yet, she still half expected it to work like that.

"I don't think it's happened," Hermione said quietly, mostly to herself.

"You don't know that, wait and see," Ron replied, before turning away from his wife. Unbeknown to her, Ron was feeling the effects of her desperate baby making… At first he was delighted, his beautiful wife wanted more sex, and she wanted it now! But soon the appeal wore off, he wife remained beautiful, but the sex in itself changed, it was less and less about the connection, about the lust and love, about the sex, and more about giving Hermione her baby.

He didn't want it to seem as if he didn't want this too, he did, he wanted a baby, but his relationship was suffering, and he didn't know how he was meant to continue to love the woman beside him, because with every day she seemed less and less like the woman he had married. It was a hard truth to face.

"Can we try once more?"

With that Ron sighed and closed his eyes. "No."

Hermione was furious. How dare he? How bloody well dare he? She was doing this for them… For her, she didn't care anymore about what he wanted… She could do anything she wanted, absolutely anything, and now she wanted a baby, she wanted to be a mother, and he was denying her that! She'd been everything for him, his wife, the bread winner, she provided him with endless love, she'd done everything she could to support him; this was all she asked in return. Nothing before had ever stopped her, the frustration of this was all too much.

"DON'T YOU SAY NO TO ME!" Hermione screamed, leaping off the bed, wanting to hit her husband, he shouldn't dare deny her like that! "I AM NOT SOME FLOOZY YOU CAN BOSS AROUND!"

"I'm not bossing you around," Ron said dejectedly, but Hermione did not notice that, he got up and sat on the side of his bed, his head rested in his hands, he felt like crying. "I'm saying I don't want to have sex again, I'm tired, I've got work tomorrow, I need to sleep."

"So it's all about you!" Hermione screamed, she was furious.

"No, Hermione, but not tonight."

* * *

><p>The plastic chairs were not comfortable nor were they warm, they were the hospital type, the ones that seem to make you feel worse then when you entered the cold white building.<p>

Hermione did not give that a second thought however; she was too occupied in her mind, thinking too much to care really about anything other then her mission.

She did not notice the receptionist, with the fake nails and ghastly pink cardigan who was watching her through beetle like eyes, she did not notice the man whose jaw was practically hitting the floor as he looked at her. Hermione was used to this attention, she was considered a saviour, one of the elite who had stopped Voldemort, her husband, and best friends were also put under the same title as she.

She crossed her arms, impatient to see the Healer; she had finally decided to get something done about this problem.

Finally a healer dressed in lime green appeared before her.

"Mrs Weasley, if you would follow me," Hermione got up and followed the healer through the corridors, for a short walk into a small room, it was white like the rest of the building, but had a desk and bed in it, that Hermione was asked to sit on.

"I'm afraid it is not good news." The healer informed Hermione, who did not dare react in any way. "We found that due to the damage from the war that… There's too much scar tissue, when the egg is fertilised it simply cannot sink to the walls..."

"Damage?" Hermione asked.

"Are you sure you don't want your husband he-"

"Ronald does not need to be here, I do not need him here, now get on with it," Hermione snapped at the healer, who looked taken aback. The woman shuffled through some papers on her desk, before looking back to Hermione.

"There's nothing we can do, nothing anyone can… You're best hopes are for adoption or"

"I want to have a baby," Hermione gritted out through clenched teeth. "I do not want someone else's kid, I want my baby."

"I'm sorry," The healer said, she looked truly sorry, almost as if she understood.

Of course she didn't bloody well understand. Hermione thought to herself angrily. She wanted a baby, she wanted to have a baby, she wanted it Damnit! Hermione Weasley got what she wanted, she did what she needed to and she got what she wanted.

"You are unable to become pregnant, but that does not mean you can't have children."

Hermione glared at the healer, before swiftly getting to her feet, and rushing out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

It was a bitter taste, for the first time in her life Hermione was Unable.


	7. Chapter 7

**I am…**

**Cruel**

* * *

><p>Hermione had made her mind up on what she was going to do before she had even got back to the house.<p>

She shoved the door open, and slammed it behind her, she was not sure if Ron were in, but she did not care either. She trudged through the hallway, ripping from the walls the photo's she had so carefully put up when they had first moved in, she dropped them to the floor, stamping on the glass, she knocked over the expensive vases that they had received as wedding gifts, she threw the flowers that he had brought her just yesterday across the room.

Storming upstairs, she yanked open the doors to their shared wardrobe and pulled out a large white dress bag, she roughly opened the bag and held up the delicate ivory material and then with strength that was amazing, she tore it apart. Ripping the beautiful wedding dress that's he had wore only a few years ago.

When she was satisfied by the shreds of gown that lay all over the room that was once a place of love, and now of destruction, she turned and stormed out. She reached for a suit case from the spare room as the front door opened and she heard Ron's panicked calls, she did not bother to answer them.

She dragged the suit case into the bedroom, and tore it open on the bed, quickly she gathered her clothes, and other trinkets she may want to keep, she did not notice her husband standing there, watching her with a horrified expression.

It was only once she had stuffed the suitcase and shrinked into fill her pocket and turned to walk out the door that she noticed him standing there. He was simply standing there, watching her as she moved around the room, and now they looked at each other, so much to be said.

"You don't have to go," His words were croaked out, the look on his face a mixture of anger and terror; he didn't want her to leave, that much she could tell.

"I know I don't _have_ to go." Hermione said, a malicious laugh tainting her words. "I don't _have_ to do anything. I _want_to go, all you've ever done is held me back, and I am fed up with it."

"Hermione, just… Look, wait, we'll talk," Ron's words were tainted with his desperation as he took a step towards her, but she did not want him near her, not because she didn't want him to change her mind, for that was impossible now, but because she had become resentful and developed a hatred towards him.

Young and stupid, she had followed blindly in the search of the good in the world, but they were no better than anyone else. They had murdered, destroyed families, risked the lives of those they had supposedly loved, and what for? For a future where only few actually got to be happy, or live their dreams. These people had taken hers from her. Their war had destroyed her dreams of a family, and Ron was denying her the chance to try.

How things change.

"Talk?" Her voice was high, and not her own, not as Ron knew it, and in that second he realised he'd lost her, she was no longer the woman he loved, she was no longer anything near to someone he could ever love, she had become so immersed in herself, and her own ability, she was someone completely different.

"Why?" That's all he wanted to know now, why had she changed.

"Because you and Harry Bloody Potter destroyed my life, I can do anything! ANYTHING!" Hermione screamed, and the energy in the room tickled, but not in a good way, and the temperature had dropped. "And you and him… You stopped me! Held me back, I don't want you, or him or even your bitch sister, I don't need you, any of you!"

"You can't have a child can you." It was not a question, but a dawning realisation. "This is about what you can't do. Hermione, I don't care if you can't have a child, there are other ways… Just come back to me and we'll figure it out."

His words so sincere, for a second she may have done exactly as he asked, begged even, and yet, she shoved past him and out the door.

_You and your whole damn family are going to suffer, just the way I have to suffer because of you, all of you._


	8. Chapter 8

**I am …**

**A Homewrecker**

* * *

><p>She read the newspapers, many of them were reporting on her leaving Ron Weasley, they had no idea of why though, Ron hadn't given an interview or commented on the matter, she supposed he thought she should be grateful, but really, she was just even more annoyed, he was acting like he was the one who was hurting, when clearly it was her who was the worse off. He had forced her to be this way, it was his fault.<p>

She was infuriated.

As she lay back on the bed, she looked around the room, hoping for some inspiration, the walls was decorated lavishly, something Ron would never have gone for, but when you were a 'saviour' you got the benefits, and the hotel owner had given her the penthouse apartment without a second thought, he knew how to treat her.

In the end it did not take her long to realise what she was going to do, lying in the bed made it just that much more obvious.

A wicked smile gracing her features she crawled towards her wardrobe, and opened the doors, she reached for a red silk gown; one that she'd only dared wear once before.

She hung it over the back of the chair at the dresser, and then she opened a little box that had been sitting by her bedside and looked inside, nestled in the blue velvet was all she needed.

It took her the whole day, mixing, and adding, and dicing, and squeezing, but soon enough, she had the potion ready, glowing with a mother of pearl sheen, she tried to recognise the smell, and yet it seemed unable to smell anything.

Frustrated she pushed it to the back of her mind, and slipped off her nightdress, smirking to herself she slipped on the red dress, it was fitted, sticking to every curve in the best of ways, it was knee length with a slit that ran up both thighs, and extremely low cut.

She slipped on a pair of matching red heels, and pulled her hair back, when finally she was happy that she was looking at her absolute best, she grabbed the potions and tipped it carefully into a vial, before turning on the spot and disappearing with a pop.

She appeared in a long and dark corridor, smirking to herself she walked into the office, it was the Aurors offices, they were empty, but one, the main office which was the only one that was completely separate from the others.

The yellow glow let her know that he was still in there, probably working for an extra house, as he had always done since getting his job as head Auror. She reached the doorway and grinned, he was bent over an open folder, reading whatever it was saying. It took him a minute to realise he was not alone.

"Hermione." His voice betrayed him, he was not happy to see her, obviously he knew everything. "What can I do for you?" He seemed to take in her dress, and she saw him fidget with his shirt, tugging it slightly.

"Nothing, I guess," Hermione said, making herself sound small, try and win him over. "I just need a friend."

He sighed, running a hand through his ebony hair, he looked tired.

"Can I get you a coffee, I could use one?" Hermione asked, he nodded, not looking at her, and so did not see her eyes twinkle with happiness.

When she returned and placed a cup before him she sat down on the chair opposite his, and taking a pose which would cause many other men to sweat a bit.

"What happened?" He asked her, looking into her brown eyes, questioning her. Hermione shrugged her shoulder, taking a sip from her cup, and waited, he lifted his cup top his lips and took a sip.

Almost instantly his eyes glazed over, and he looked almost zombie like.

"Hermione!" His voice was loud and ringing and she had him exactly where she wanted him now.

"Come here Harry," Hermione purred, leaning onto his table, giving him a direct look down her dress. "Come on, take my hand." He did so willingly, this was going to be too easy.

She disappeared again, this time landing in a room she knew well, it was not one of her own, but rather, one of her best friends, or rather her ex-best friends. Quickly she pushed Harry down on the bed, pulling his shirt off with a quick yank, she knew that whoever was down stairs already knew that someone was in the house, she did not care that there was a young child in the house, she wanted to do this.

She quickly pulled her own dress off, and leaned down capturing Harry's lips with her own, quickly he rolled them over so he was on top, and unbuckling his belt, and then the door smashed open.

"GET-"

The angelic voice of a woman broke off, and Hermione smirked to herself.

She looked up at the woman standing in the doorway, her stomach slightly bulging, which was a surprise, but made it all so much more delicious. Her red hair was tied back, and she was wearing a pair of jogging bottoms, and a guys t-shirt, probably Harry's, her face was a picture of total horror, and quickly she turned away from the pair, and ran.

Harry's eye turned to Hermione with a look of confusion, and then fury and fear all in one.

He leapt off the bed just as the door down stairs slammed against the wall, and the sound of a child's cry rang through the house.

With that Hermione got up, collected her dress and left the house, a smile gracing her features, and yet, she could not possibly look more dead in that very moment, the Hermione that was once so loved was well and truly gone.


	9. Chapter 9

**I am …**

**A Murderer**

* * *

><p><em>Ring . . . Ring . . .<em>

Ring . . . Ring . . .

Hermione picked up the receiver, grudgingly; she wanted to be left alone.

"Ms Granger, it is Howard from the main desk, there is a Mr Weasley here to see you," Howard's voice was tense, like they knew everything, they knew nothing. "He is insistent that he be let up to your room."

"That's quite alright Howard, let him up," Hermione said, her voice sickly sweet, she put down the receiver and moved across the apartment, until she reached the living room, and lounged across the sofa, opposite the door, half expecting it to be blown off its hinges, she was surprised then, when she hears two gentle knocks.

"Come in," Her voice betrayed how rattled she was by the knocking, but ignored it, and smiled as Ron walks into the room, his face completely clear of all emotion. It was something of a jolt to the system, which she had prepared herself for, it had been a while since she had last seen him.

"If it were a girl they were going to call the baby Lily Hermione, regardless of what had happened," Ron told her as he took the seat opposite Hermione; he did not sit back, but rather lean forward, hunched, as if he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. The words confused Hermione, she had little clue of what he was talking about, none of _them_talked to her anymore, and she had long ago given up on the newspapers. "You were to be named the godmother, and I the godfather, regardless of what had happened."

His words were starting to hit her, starting to get to her, the way he was talking was chilling.

"It's a boy; they are calling him Albus Severus," Hermione wanted to laugh, what a ridiculous name. "Well that's what Harry is calling him."

Did Ginny have no say?

"Because Ginny died."

Hermione tensed, she did not let her emotions betray her.

"When you left, Ginny had run out of the house, she didn't see the car coming through the tears, she just ran, and was hit; they only just managed to save Albus," He was almost choking on the words as he said them. "We could have figured it out, Hermione; we could have made it work… Anything, I would have given anything to make it as you wanted, but I can't fight something that you wouldn't let me… But this? Harry and Ginny? What about James and Albus, have you even spared them a second thought, just a second… Do you want to tell them why there mother is no longer there?"

He was growing angrier with each and every word, and he was on his feet, his face beet red, and she was scared of him, her husband, she was so scared of him, for the first time since that day, she truly thought that maybe she'd done this wrong, but it was too late now, there was no going back.

The wizarding world would know, and the order would reject her, and the Weasley's would probably kill her without a second thought, because she hadn't just messed up, she'd destroyed everything. And meant it.

… Just not like this.

"You killed her!" Ron bellowed, his fury bubbling, and she could not blame him, though she dare not let it show, his fingers clasped around a lamp beside him, and he threw it against the opposite wall.

"AND I CAN'T KILL YOU!" He roared at her. "Because somewhere I still love you."

"If that's all Ronald, I would like for you to leave," Her voice was cold, and emotionless. He looked at her with eyes so intense, that's she felt a shiver run down her spine, and not in the good way, but the way that instils fear into you.

"You murdered my sister." Ron said, his voice hard, and she could feel the words stabbed her through the heart. She showed nothing though.

"I think you'll find Ron, that your sister killed herself when she ran into traffic," Hermione said, cold and detached, and she was sure for a second that he was going to lunge at her, strangle her to death, and maybe she deserved that.

Instead he dropped some papers on the table between them, and walked off.

"Sign those, and get it done soon," Ron said quietly as he reached the door, not looking back at her, and looking down she saw it in black and white.

**Petition for Divorce**

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, before pulling out a pen, and signing on the dotted line.

She did not look to see what he wanted, or any of the terms, she just sent them back to him, wanting them out of her apartment. Then she walked back to her bed and curled up, she had brought this on herself. She had wanted to hurt them, like they had hurt her, but this… she could never take this back.


	10. Chapter 10

**I am …**

**A Tool**

* * *

><p>She was sitting alone in a crowded restaurant, eating at the bar, sipping on vodka, this is what it had come to, swapping the family meals for dining in restaurants alone. A pitiful sight she must have made. She wanted to hurl her plate at the happy smiling faces of the other customers, it appeared they were celebrating a marriage anniversary, by the large '50 years!' written on the banner she assumed the couple had been together for fifty years, she scoffed at the idea.<p>

She was so immersed in her own little world of resent that she did not notice someone sit down beside her, much less who that person was. So it was a surprise to her when she recognised the face when she finally turned around.

"All alone Granger?" The person asked, his grey eyes shining with amusement.

"I know you," She stated and then threw back the remains of her vodka and orange. "Draco Malfoy, if I'm correct." She eyed him with curiosity, of course she was right.

He smirked at her, knowing what was going through her mind in that second, though a little taken aback at her new found cockiness, he found it surprisingly sexy on a woman such as herself, a far cry from the goody-two-shoes book worm she once was.

"Yes, but you already knew that," His voice was huskier then he had really intended it to, but she seemed completely unfazed, something he was definitely not used to. "No Weasley?"

"I'm not daft, Malfoy, you already know there's no Weasley, my name has been dragged through the mud since Red died, so tragic." Her voice dripped with sarcasm, it had grown cold and unaffected, she was definitely not the girl that Draco had attended school with, from the heels to the provocative dress, and the coldness in every word, she was different, and he would have to admit, he liked the new Hermione.

"The papers like to create something from nothing; a smart girl like you should know that," Draco replied, not taking his eyes from the smooth skin on her shoulder, a slight dusting on freckles graced her honeycomb skin; he wanted to kiss them then and there.

"Girl?" Her velvet voice was almost teasing. "Let's get one thing straight Malfoy-"

"Draco, please."

"Fine, Draco. I am not a little girl anymore, and unless you think you can really handle me, I'd move away right now," Her voice was almost threatening, but he saw a promise beneath her words.

"Where are you working these days, Granger?" Draco asked, the tinge of curiosity in his voice.

"I don't… I have no need to." Her voice was so cool, he could have taken it for the simple fact that she didn't want to work, but he knew better then to believe that, this was Hermione Granger he was talking to, nothing interested Hermione more then finding things out, experimenting, she had worked as an Unspeakable. Quickly the realisation hit that she was asked to leave, not fired because you can't fire Hermione Granger, but for the benefit of the Weasley's and Potter she was asked to vacate her position…

"Ah, you must have much free time then," Draco murmured, Hermione raised her eyebrow at him. The clogs were working in his head, and it only took him a second to realise the full potential of this. "I guess then I could make a proposition, one that you may just be very interested in, with all your free time."

Hermione looked at him curiously; she really wanted to hear what he thought he actually had to offer her.

"You see I have a little situation, my last wife had a slight problem with fidelity, and she has been served with the appropriate papers, I am now single, I have an heir, but I do not have a wife."

She could barely believe the words leaving his mouth.

"I don't expect anything in the bedroom, just someone to be on my arm at social events, a new date every time can get tiring, and I need someone with a certain level of intelligence."

"Are you actually asking me to marry you?" Hermione asked, astounded, it was the first time she had actually shown emotion all night.

"Well, you see, I have an extensive library, and unlimited funds, all of which you would have complete access to," Draco informed her, smirking at her face as the clogs worked in her brain. "As well as many other artefacts and numerous homes under the Malfoy name."

"So you are asking me to marry you," Hermione stated, raising her eyebrows at the man before her.

"It could be beneficial to both of us."

* * *

><p>Hermione smirked as she fingered the antique fireplace, it was gorgeous, much like everything in this house was, but it was just a pretty thing to be looked at.<p>

"I did mention that bedtime was not a requirement, didn't I?" His voice was silky, and amused, but that was all. Hermione turned around, she was completely bare, and he seemed impressed by her confidence.

"Well, you see, unless I get what I want and when I want it, you might find that I too have a problem with fidelity," Hermione replied, not really looking at him as she walked around the room, she hadn't really taken the chance to see it as she stumbled her way towards the bed, ripping his clothes from his body.

"Then I do believe that my proposition could be most beneficial to both of us," Draco replied, Hermione raised an eyebrow at him. She walked over to the dressing table, it was bare expect from a bottle of whiskey sitting on it, without thinking twice she took off the top and took a gulp.

"That can't be good for you." Draco said as he come and stood behind her, brushing her hair from her shoulders and placing gentle kisses on her shoulders, a great contrast to the lusting man last night. He had ravished her then, it had been glorious, a surprise that they had been so compatible under the sheets.

"Don't go soft on me Draco; I don't think I could bear living with you like that," He raised his head and turned her around facing him.

"Is that a yes?" he asked her.

"Yes." Hermione replied, walking to the bed and slipping on the shirt that he had worn last night, half of the buttons were missing.

"Do you mind if I ask why?" Draco asked her, watching as she walked to the doorway of what was apparently their new room.

"I was married to the softest git in the bloody world for five years Draco; everyone needs a little excitement," Hermione replied, smirking at the astounded blonde man, her fiancé. "I'm going to go to the library, see if it really is all you told me."


	11. Chapter 11

**I am …**

**Dying**

* * *

><p>It had been two years, and still Hermione lived with Draco Malfoy, in their home, she was officially Hermione Malfoy, and it had all the benefits he had promised her. His son was a handsome child, surprisingly at ease with himself, intelligent, not unloving. Hermione was extremely fond of him, often finding time in her day to suggests books to him to read, he was young, only four years old, but happy. She did her best to keep him that way. It was tinged with bitterness however, because she realised that she did love this child, even if he was not really her own.<p>

Currently she was in her room, changing for a ball that Draco wanted her to attend, she hadn't been well for the last couple of days, but refused to acknowledge it as she took her ivory dress from its hanger and stepped into it.

"Hey," Hermione turned to the doorway and smiled, Draco was standing there, his arms crossed as he watched her get ready.

She would not say she loved him, because truthfully she did not, but it was hard for her not to grow a fondness for the man before her, two years together will do that to a woman. She was glad to say that it seemed to be a two way thing.

"Hey, could you help me with the zipper," Hermione asked as she turned her back to Draco, and waited for him to do the dress up for her. She heard him cross the room, and expected the feel him zip her up, but did not expect the feel of his hands sliding the straps of her dress down her shoulders. "Draco!"

She felt him smile against her shoulder, as she turned around, and raise her eyebrows at him. She smirked when his eyes darkened; she was not wearing anything beneath the dress.

"I need to get ready for this ball that you're insistent that I attend," Hermione told him sternly, Draco nodded, bending down to pick her dress up from the puddle it had formed around her feet, and pulling it back up her body.

"Well, are you almost ready?" Draco asked once Hermione was finally zipped up, with underwear on.

"Almost." Hermione said, putting on her pearl necklace and inspecting her reflection. "Could you pass me my shoes?" Hermione asked, Draco nodded her picked up the shoes, only when Hermione reached out to grasp them; she gasped and clutched her side painfully.

"What? Hermione, are you alright?" His voice was genuinely concerned.

"Of course." Her voice betrayed her words however, she was not alright. "Look, Draco, we'll go tonight, and then tomorrow we go to St Mungo's." Hermione said, forcing a smile onto her face.

Draco was apprehensive as he nodded and left the room, while Hermione recollected herself. She looked into the mirror, she did not look as brilliant as she had thought she did, she looked ill, but only if you really looked at her. Sighing she grabbed her purse and walked out of the room.

The night was beautiful all around the room there were smiling faces, beautiful dresses and a general good feeling, Hermione was sitting with Draco and few of his employees when she felt a stab at her side once again, expect for a quick wince she betrayed nothing.

Finally a song she knew well was being played and Hermione smiled at her husband. "Dance with me?"

Draco smiled his wife and held his hand out to her; together they stepped to the dance floor and danced together, Hermione's arm around his neck, and his arms pulling her close to him, as they moved to the soft beat.

"I think Hermione Malfoy, I love you."

Hermione was taken aback; she had not expected this from him.

Draco was looking down at her, smiling at her, and it was then that Hermione's eyes rolled into the back of her head, and she fell limp in his arms. She missed the look of total horror on his face.

* * *

><p>"Mrs Malfoy was a time bomb," The healers voice was soft, pitying almost, as he explained to Draco what was happening. "She was very ill for a very long time, and she probably never knew it, small things like coughs, tiredness, severe mood swings. These things are not uncommon in women, and are usually put down to other symptoms, periods, diets, anything."<p>

"So when I married her, she was already dying?" Draco asked, his voice pained as he looked into the room where his wife lay.

"Yes, I'm ever so sorry Draco; there was little anyone could have done."

"How long?" Draco asked, his voice strained, he almost didn't want to hear the answer.

"Days, maybe hours…"

* * *

><p>When Hermione opened her eyes she looked to see Draco gripping her hand in his own.<p>

"I'm sorry," His words were so final; she did not doubt what he meant. She nodded, her movement sluggish.

"Listen to me," Her voice was scratchy and so unlike what she was used to. "Tell Scorpius you love him every day. Don't let him ever change, you have a good boy, make sure he knows that. I love you, I should have told you every single day."

"Her-"

"I have made so many mistakes Draco; I've done terrible things… Please, for me, make sure that you can live with what you have done, because I am going to die with the true horror of what I have caused, the lives I have ruined, the lies I have told, and the mistakes I've made," Hermione told him, Draco was shaking his head he did not want to hear anything she was saying, she was not the woman he had met that day in the restaurant, she had become a good mixture of both, regained some of the kindness of her youth, become someone he could truly love, because of it.

"Can you do some things for me?" He did not want to fill her final requests, for she should not be making them.

"Get a pen and paper, and write this for me…"

* * *

><p>Draco closed his eyes as he watched the woman before him shrink away into nothingness, she smiled at him.<p>

"Remember to tell Scorpius that you love him, and tell him to tell Albus Potter how wonderful his mother was-" her voice was breaking just that much more with each word, and he wanted her to stop speaking, to save herself, but he could not, not now… "Tell him… tell him I'm sorry."

"Hermione, you didn- didn't mean for her to die," Draco whispered, barely able to look at her any longer.

"I shouldn't have done any of the things I did back then… Please Draco, don't tell me it wasn't my fault, because it was and we both know it… The only thing that came out of any of it was you and Scorpius, you both make me proud." her voice was fading, and he could not bear it.

"Hermione, please!" His head against her hand, he was holding her, gripping, praying it was enough to keep her in this world, and knowing it wasn't. "HERMIONE!"

* * *

><p>Draco knocked on the door, he heard footsteps and the door opened, the person seemed surprised to see him.<p>

"Malfoy?"

"I just came to give you this… Hermione wrote it, well I did, but she… Just…" he could not say anything more to the man who stood before him with concern in his eyes, for he knew and had witnessed a man breakdown from the loss of his wife.  
><em><br>Ron,_

_I am sorry, for not loving you enough, for not giving you what you needed, for not trying hard enough._

_I am sorry for breaking her, for killing her, I didn't mean for that, I just wanted to hurt her the way I had been hurt, I only realise now that it hadn't been me that was hurt, but rather everyone else._

_I don't know how to say sorry enough, I don't think I can._

_If you can bring yourself to it, please be there for Draco, I love him now the way I used to love you, and I'm sorry if that sounds mean, but I hope you too have moved on._

_I did love you once upon a time, and I will forever live with what I have done, and will accept whatever may come for me._

_Tell James and Albus I'm sorry for taking their mother, for ruining it for them; tell Harry it was never meant to be that way it happened. I'll tell Ginny myself how sorry I am._

_Please, watch out for Draco, he is not a bad man._

_Hermione._


End file.
